EPISODE 2 - TRANSCRIPT
INT. FRANKIE’S POD - MORNING
Telsa coils crack. HIGH-VOLTAGE ELECTRIC ARCS through Frankie’s skull. Sounds of BREAKERS FLIPPING, ELECTRICITY, and...Frankie SINGING the French folk song “ALOUETTE.”
FRANKIE (singing)
Alouette, gentille alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai.
JOSH
Come on, volts. Don’t let me down!
The HUMMING and CRACKING get louder and so does Frankie’s SINGING. It ends in a CLIMACTIC ELECTRIC EXPLOSION. Frankie COUGHS, coming back into consciousness.
JOSH (slapping her cheek)
Frankie! Wake up! Wake up!
FRANKIE
D’accord! D’accord! I’m up! I was singing in French again wasn’t I?
JOSH
Yep. And very loudly.
FRANKIE
Don’t blame me, blame my malfunctioning French brain. Josh, what the heck is going on with me?
JOSH
No idea, but I gotta say, I am getting really good at shocking you back to your senses.
FRANKIE
Congratulations. You’re a master of Victorian medicine.
JOSH
Thanks sis! Gimme five.
FRANKIE
My hands are strapped to the gurney.
JOSH
You know, it’s actually more efficient if I high-five myself anyway. Dr. Josh Amazing, you are a genius!
He SLAPS HIS OWN HAND.
JOSH
Go me!
CUT TO THEME SONG
INT. FRANKIE’S POD - DAY
Ambient BEEPS in Frankie’s pod.
FRANKIE
So, what’s going on at the lab? Are you any closer to fixing the world’s problems?
JOSH
Sorry, Frankie. It’s before 9 o’clock AM and I prefer to discuss work on company time.
FRANKIE
It’s 8:59. Start talking.
JOSH
Well, while you were dealing with your franconphile fainting spells, I did a lot of thinking.
FRANKIE
God help us all.
JOSH
If I want to be as great as Dad, I need to focus on making the world better. A better place.
FRANKIE
I mean, that’s exactly what I told you to do, but--
JOSH
Sooooo, I created an invention that sucks up all the toxic smog from our atmosphere!
FRANKIE
You did? How?
JOSH
Picture this: Flying automatons, each of them the size of a bumble bee. They soar through the sky, like teeny tiny roombas with wings, and they vacuum up all the pollutants. I call them the smog suckers!
FRANKIE
Wow. OK, that actually sounds really promising.
JOSH
I know, right? That’s why I’m throwing an official launch party for them tonight at 5 PM, at the golden hour.
FRANKIE
Wait. You’re launching them today?
JOSH
You betcha! Now I’m going to need you to help me pick out a snazzy outfit for the party. I need something that will photograph well in the golden hour.
FRANKIE
Stop saying that! There is a zero percent chance that your smog suckers are ready to launch this soon.
JOSH
For your information, they are 100% prepared for takeoff.
FRANKIE
So, there were no bugs in alpha testing?
JOSH
Nope.
FRANKIE
How about in open beta?
JOSH
Open what?
FRANKIE
Closed beta? Gamma?
JOSH
Huh? Are you speaking French again?
FRANKIE
I’m speaking English, Josh! Have you completed any testing on the Smog Suckers?
JOSH
Yeahno.
FRANKIE
Well, then you’re just going to have to delay the launch.
JOSH
No! I can’t do that! I made a whole thing of it! I invited the press, hired a live band karaoke company, rented a photo booth, and I purchased twelve different liquid- based food fountains!
FRANKIE
Seriously?
JOSH
I know, twelve different varieties! Who knew that the chocolate fountain was just the tip of the dippable iceberg?
FRANKIE
Listen to me. You really tanked with the Seatbalt. But it’s OK because you’re a straight cis dude in a position of power, who is also extremely average-looking.
JOSH
...thanks?
FRANKIE
But you can’t mess up again and get away with it. Seriously Josh, You need to test each and every sucker and make sure they work perfectly before you shoot them into the sky. Got it?
JOSH
But the launch is at 5 PM. That’s in... (checking his watch) 8 hours!
FRANKIE
Well, good thing you got started a whole minute early then.
Frankie’s phone RINGS.
JOSH
Is that your phone? Who’s calling you? Only I call you.
FRANKIE
You’re clearly not calling me right now.
JOSH
I refute your logic. I’ll answer it for you!
Josh grabs Frankie’s phone, sounds of a STRUGGLE.
FRANKIE
Hey! Give that back!
JOSH (answering the phone)
Hello, Dr. Josh Amazing speaking. Who is this and why didn’t Frankie tell me she had a secret friend?
AUTOMATED MESSAGE (on speaker phone)
This is an automated message confirming your 12:15 PM appointment with Dr. Becky Fernandez.
JOSH
Ugh. Wrong number. Lame.
FRANKIE
It’s not a wrong number--
AUTOMATED MESSAGE
To confirm, say--
FRANKIE
CONFIRM!
AUTOMATED MESSAGE
Thank you, good bye.
The phone call ENDS.
JOSH
You made a doctor’s appointment?
FRANKIE
I sure did. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get dressed.
CLANGING NOISES.
JOSH
Wait, why are you putting on your suit of armor? You only put that on when you want to --
FRANKIE
Disguise my appearance to leave the lab? That’s correct.
CREAKING NOISES at Frankie walks to the door.
JOSH
No! You can’t leave! I need you to help me test the Smog Suckers!
FRANKIE
How about what I need? Ever since I fell out of the SeatBalt, my body’s been out of control. Look at my fingernails. They’re so long they’re curling over.
JOSH (restrained repulsion)
I did not know fingernails could curl.
FRANKIE
You should see my toenails.
JOSH
But you can’t leave me. I can’t do all this stupid testing by myself!
FRANKIE
Then make the techs help you.
JOSH
The who?
FRANKIE
The laboratory technicians? You know, your employees?
JOSH
Oh yeah, I forgot about them.
FRANKIE
Josh, you’re a boss now. They’re your employees. Go employ them.
JOSH
And how exactly do I do that?
FRANKIE
Do I look like I went to Harvard Business School? I don’t know! Send a memo! Give a speech! Just get them testing.
Josh WALKS toward the door.
JOSH
Fine! I’ll go do that right now! I hope you have a wonderful time at the doctor’s and I hope they only have purple-flavored lollipops.
FrANKIE
Cool. Thanks for the support, bro.
JOSH
Just remember, the American Healthcare system is more broken than my New Year’s resolutions.
FRANKIE
Josh, careful, you’re/
JOSH
It’s more corrupted than a senior citizen’s desktop computer/
FRANKIE
Stop, you’re about to---
FRYING SOUNDS. Josh YELLS!
FRANKIE (too late)
Walk backwards into the antique Lightning Box you were pointlessly using to cure me with zero success.
JOSH
Ow, that really hurt.
FRANKIE
The truth often does.
INT. LAB - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
We hear lab techs MINGLE, MAKE SMALL TALK, LAUGH, WORK.
JOSH
OK, Josh. Time to put your boss pants on. (clearing his throat) Hello employees! It’s me, your boss! Drop everything you’re doing! You, drop that beaker!
The sound of GLASS SHATTERING.
JOSH
Great. Okay, everyone gather up. Since my father, Dr. Amazing, cured cancer six months ago, cigarette use has quadrupled.
Everyone APPLAUDS.
JOSH
No! Don’t clap! That’s a bad statistic! Did you know that cigarette butts make up 45% of Wisconsin’s overall waste? That’s a lot of butts.
Everyone APPLAUDS.
JOSH
Hey! Don’t clap for that either! Look people, if we don’t do something about this soon, Earth is gonna get really gnarly. Like the kinda gnarly where the sky turns gray. And everyone knows that gray is the most boring color. (beat) Fortunately, I came up with an incredible invention that will clean it all up. The Smog Suckers! Lookie, I’ve got one here in my pocket.
A BUZZING sound as Josh shows off a smog sucker.
JoSH
Adorbs, right? And to celebrate my awesomeness, I’m throwing a fancy launch party on the roof of the lab at 5 PM tonight to celebrate. (beat) So that means, all you techs need to stop everything and help me test these suckers so they don’t blow up and embarrass me.
All the techs start ASKING QUESTIONS at the same time.
JOSH
OK, wow that’s a lot of hands in the air. OK, ummm you with the hair, what’s your question?
SUNAN
Did you forget my name again?
JOSH
Is that your question?
SUNAN
My name is Sunan. Pronouns are they/them, I’ve worked here for twenty-two years?
JOSH
Huh, that long?
SUNAN
Long enough that the lab cafeteria named a sandwich after me.
JOSH
The Sunan Surprise? I love that sandwich!
SUNAN
And I love to stay on topic. How many tech hours do you think you’ll need to support adequate testing on this new invention?
JOSH
I don’t know, all of them? But come on, people! Don’t you want to work on the coolest invention to ever come out of Amazing Labs?
SUNAN
Respectfully, Josh, I’m not sure this is the coolest.
JOSH
I know, I know, I’ll forever walk in the dinosaur shadow of brilliant and murdered father. Thanks for the reminder, Sunan.
SUNAN
All I’m saying is, the techs are still cleaning up the SeatBalt... situation. I don’t know how much time they’ll have to commit to your latest invention.
JOSH
Who are you, the manager of all my employees?
SUNAN
Literally yes, that is my job.
TECH 1
Sunan is right, Josh.
TECH 2
Sunan is always right.
JOSH
OK, OK. I get it. We all love Sunan. Sunan has a sandwich named after them. Sunan has glorious hair. But can Sunan get you invited to the hottest party of the year?
TECH 2
Probably.
JOSH
No! They can’t! But I can. Amazing Labs, you heard it here first: Every tech who tests the smog suckers gets an invite to my super fancy launch party tonight. Okay, now you can applaud! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pick out a snazzy outfit to wear to my party. Sooo go on, get to work!
Josh leaves and SHUTS THE DOOR behind him.
JOSH
That was easy. Almost too easy... but that’s not a thing. Good work, Boss Josh!
He HIGH-FIVES HIMSELF.
INT. METRA TRAIN - LATER
TRAIN NOISES.
TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT
This is a South bound train to Chicago. Please stand clear of the closing doors.
A bunch of people CROWD ONTO THE TRAIN.
COMMUTER DAD
Excuse me. (KNOCKING on Frankie’s armor) Can you scoot in please?
FRANKIE
Oh, sorry--
The TRAIN STARTS. ARMOR CLANGING.
LITTLE KID
Look, Daddy! A knight!
COMMUTER DAD
Sshh. Don’t make eye contact! Just smoke your cigarette, sweetie.
KID COUGHING NOISE as he smokes.
Frankie’s phone RINGS. She answers it.
FRANKIE
What is it, Josh?
JOSH
Alpha. Open beta. Closed beta. Gamma. All tested.
FRANKIE
And? What did you find?
JOSH
A few bugs, a few fixes, no big deal. But now, even by your alpha geek standards, the smog suckers are officially ready for launch.
TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT
Now approaching downtown Chicago.
JOSH
Wait, are you on a train?
FRANKIE
I knew you wouldn’t let me borrow Tony the Chauffeur-bot, so yes, I am... taking public transportation.
On Josh’s end, A TOILET FLUSHES.
FRANKIE
Wait, are you in a bathroom?
JOSH
Yeah, so?
FRANKIE
Good-bye Josh.
Frankie hangs up the phone.
JOSH
Wait! UGH.
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Three techs enter the bathroom, CHATTING. Sounds of STALLS CLOSING.
TECH 1
How about that announcement from the bossman today? (doing a Josh impression) I’m Josh and I have more daddy issues than Jesus.
The other techs LAUGH.
TECH 3
Let me try, let me try. (doing a Josh impression) I’m Josh and I came up with an invention that literally sucks.
The other techs LAUGH.
TECH 2
My turn! (doing a Josh impression) I’m Josh. I overwork my employees to compensate for my terrible ideas, I refuse to acknowledge my lack of leadership... (getting upset) and I’m a big, big jerk!
TECH 3
Uh, are you OK?
TECH 2 (fighting tears)
No! I’m not. I worked 80 hours last week and I’m still swamped. Now, on top of it all, I have to test Josh’s stupid smog suckers. I should’ve taken that job at Tesla.
TECH 3
Hey, at least we get to go to that launch party tonight. There better be free alcohol. Also, what’s a plus one?
TECH 1
I think it’s a clone.
TECH 2
Wait, if none of us like Josh, then how come we all clapped for him this morning?
TECH 1
He’s our boss, you nitwit. We have to pretend to like him.
The techs LAUGH. Josh chokes back a GASP. The techs stop laughing.
TECH 2
Hey. Is someone in here?
TECH 1
Come out and show your face!
TECH 3
Huh. Must just be the old rusty pipes.
TECH 1
Amazing Labs, the richest company in the world with the suckiest pipes and the suckiest boss.
They LAUGH and leave. The bathroom door SLAMS behind them.
JOSH
You know what sucks actually? Your impression of me. And your... hygiene. Wash your hands, you meanies! (a beat, maybe a sniffle) Oh god. They hate me, they really hate me.
EXT. CHICAGO STREETS - LATER CITY SOUNDS.
ARMOR CREAKING SOUNDS as Frankie walks..
FRANKIE
Grand Avenue. Suite 654. Please, let this work.
Frankie KNOCKS on the door. The door OPENS.
DR. BECKY
Can I help you? Renn Faire isn’t for another 3 months.
FRANKIE
I’m your 12:15 appointment.
DR. BECKY
Oh! A paying customer, excellent! Come inside.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
Becky’s HIGH HEELS clack as they walk. Frankie CREAKS.
DR. BECKY
Clever costume.
FRANKIE
Thank you, Dr. Fernandez.
DR. BECKY
Call me Dr. Becky, it’s snappier. So what you want to fix? The face? The boobs? Saggy neck? Cankles?
FRANKIE
Actually I was hoping you could just give me a routine physical.
DR. BECKY
You know I’m a cosmetic surgeon, right? And I’m very expensive.
FRANKIE
Cosmetic surgeons go through the same training as any other doctor. You can figure out what’s wrong with me. More importantly...
DR. BECKY
Yes?
FRANKIE
You have a reputation for... discretion.
DR. BECKY
Ahh, so this isn’t a costume, it’s a disguise! Let me guess. You’re a celebrity chef. No, you’re a former sitcom star. No. OK wait, am I getting like war criminal vibes from you?
FRANKIE
I’m nobody famous, trust me. But my dad is Dr. Amazing.
DR. BECKY
Huh. I thought he only had that one squirrelly son who got skewered on the Teddy Show.
FRANKIE
Everyone thinks that. And that’s how I want to keep it.
DR. BECKY
Discretion, I get it!
FRANKIE
Good. I’m going to take off my helmet now. Try not to scream.
DR. BECKY
Darling, the things I’ve seen in this office would haunt your nightmares. Now take off that helmet and let’s see what we’re working with.
FRANKIE
OK.
Frankie takes off her armored helmet with a CREAK.
DR. BECKY
Sweet mother of Mary’s milk! Your face... it’s like its been stitched together. I... think I need to just take a quick nap on the floor, pardon me.
Dr. Becky FAINTS. Frankie SLAPS her face.
FRANKIE
Dr. Becky? Hey! Hey! Wake up! I need your help! Merde.
EXT. OUTSIDE AMAZING LABS - SAME TIME
Josh PACES and listens to his self-affirmation tape.
JOSH (recorded)
You can do this, Josh! You’re a respected adult boss with an average face! People love you!
(he turns off the recording)
Recorded Josh is right, Josh. Now go shoot the shark with those nerds and win them over!
Josh joins the group of techs on their smoke break.
JOSH
Hey hey! My employees on a smoke break, so fun!
TECH 1
Whoa, uh hey boss. Did you need us to get back to work or something?
JOSH
No way, work? Work is lame. I’m just coming by to say hi. So... “hi.”
Awkward beat.
TECH 2
…. Hi.
JOSH
This is so fun! I love to take breaks and smoke delicious cigarettes with my coworkers, don’t you?
TECH 2
Oh wait, you smoke? My bad, Bossman. Manners, sheesh. Here, have a cigarette.
JOSH
Oh... well, Don’t mind if I do.
Josh LIGHTS UP and immediately has a COUGHING FIT.
JOSH
I’m fine. I love this. I’m fine.
Josh finally stops coughing. After another beat:
JOSH
Does anyone have any coconut water? (gagging a little) I forgot, cigarettes smell terrible.
TECH 3
So?
JOSH
You’re going to a fancy launch party tonight, don’t you want to smell good?
TECH 2
Eh, whatever. I haven’t showered in a week.
TECH
Yeah same.
TECH
Same.
JOSH
What? That is ridiculous! You need to take showers! (sniffing) No, seriously, you all need to take showers.
TECH 3
In what free time? We work a zillion hours here. Smoking cigarettes is the only break we get.
JOSH
Not true. You take bathroom breaks! Where you pee, and where you talk to each other, and where you don’t wash your hands. That’s right! I heard you talking about me in the all-gendered bathroom! You called me a sucky boss. And if you don’t take it back right now, you’re all fired.
Silence from the techs.
JOSH
Now. Take it back. Now.
TECH 2 (gathering his courage)
But you are a sucky boss. You don’t care about us.
JOSH
I do so care! I care so much.
An awkward silence.
TECH 3
OK... Well, we should probably get back to work. Sunan needs us to disassemble all those recalled Seatballts.
JOSH
Hey, wait. Do we still have the air fresheners from the Seatbalts?
TECH 2
Probably.
JOSH
Bring them to me now.
TECH 3
Demanding things from going to make us like us isn’t you more.
JOSH
Oh but you will. You’ll like me even better than Sunan! Just you wait, techs. Just you wait...
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - LATER
BEEPS and BOOPS as Becky performs a physical on Frankie.
DR. BECKY
Now, look directly into the lens, Frankie. Good. Hmm. It seems as if your left eye is larger than your right. Did you know that?
FRANKIE
At this point, I think it would be weirder if they matched.
DR. BECKY
Turn your cheek, please. Unbelievable...
FRANKIE
What?
DR. BECKY
Your skin. It’s so buoyant, so fresh.
FRANKIE
I thought I look like a patchwork quilt.
DR. BECKY
Oh, you do. But each individual patch of skin is so supple and smooth. I touch your face and it’s as if I’m caressing the cheek of an infant baby child.
FRANKIE
It’s probably from all my nanobots. They’re constantly repairing me. It’s how all the... patches on my quilt... stay healthy and together.
DR. BECKY
My celebrity clients would pay a fortune to look like this. How old did you say you were?
FRANKIE
That’s a surprisingly complicated question--
Becky pricks Frankie’s skin
FRANKIE
Ouch!
DR. BECKY
Sorry! Just getting a little quick skin sample. And now I’m going to check your heart rate.
Dr. Becky puts on a STETHOSCOPE. We hear LUB DUB LUB DUB.
DR. BECKY
Your heart rate seems... normal.
FRANKIE
Normal? That’s a first.
But then, we hear a FAINTER, MORE ERRATIC BEAT.
DR. BECKY
Huh. When I move my stethoscope a little to the right...
The ERRATIC BEAT gets LOUDER.
DR. BECKY
Oh yeah never mind, this isn’t normal. Did you know you’re growing a second heart?
FRANKIE
What?
DR. BECKY
Listen.
More ERRATIC HEARTBEATS.
DR. BECKY
Whatever’s happening inside your body is happening at an accelerated rate.
TYPING SOUNDS.
DR. BECKY
I’ll refer you to a colleague of mine. He does hearts. Insides aren’t really Dr. Becky’s jam.
FRANKIE
Wait. There’s something else I wanted to ask... How many surgeries do you think I’d need to look... normal? (beat) I don’t need to be pretty. Because frankly what is “pretty?” I mean, I think a hermit crab right after it sheds its exoskeleton is the most beautiful thing in the world... but based on the single episode of The Bachelor that my dad saved on my DVR, I think other people might define “pretty” a little differently than me.
DR. BECKY
Frankie, I--
FRANKIE
Answer my question. How many surgeries is it going to take?
DR. BECKY
I can’t give you a number. I’m incredible at my job, but even I can’t fix you. I’m sorry, Frankie.
FRANKIE
Oh. Well. I should go. I’m not even supposed to leave the lab.
DR. BECKY
Wait, I want to refer you to that heart specialist--
FRANKIE
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but my brother was right. Coming here was a mistake. Thanks for nothing, Dr. Becky.
Frankie leaves, SLAMMING the door shut behind her.
DR. BECKY
No, Frankie Amazing, thank you.
EXT. ROOFTOP OF THE LAB - EVENING
Josh OPENS THE DOOR to the roof.
JOSH
Alexa? What time is it?
ALEXA
The time is 5 PM.
JOSH
The golden hour. (gathering his courage) All right, world, you all want to smoke and stink everything up? No problem. Josh Amazing is here to save the day.
PARTY SOUNDS. FLASHBULBS. APPLAUSE. Josh steps up to a microphone.
JOSH
Hello everyone! Thank you for attending the official launch party for the Smog Suckers!
He’s holding a bag that sounds like a BUZZING BEEHIVE.
JOSH
In this bag, I have 4,000 smog suckers ready to cleanse the air of all that toxic cigarette smoke. And do you know why? Because Amazing Labs cares about making the world better. So without further adieu, go! Fly smog suckers, fly!
Josh releases the Smog Suckers into the air. SUCKING SOUNDS! Everyone APPLAUDS.
JOSH
Look at them just flying around up there, sucking up smog!
More APPLAUSE.
JOSH
But there’s more! This afternoon, I added a little something extra to my invention. And you know who I did it for? My employees. Stand up, lab techs! Wave hello to all my beautiful guests! Come on, come on. Don’t be shy.
MUTTERINGS as the techs slowly stand up. LIGHT APPLAUSE from the other guests.
JOSH
These techs work so hard that they don’t even have time to shower.
TECH 2
Josh, you’re embarrassing us.
JOSH
Well there’s no need to be embarrassed by your smelly selves any more! Arms up in the air, lab techs. Expose those pits!
SSSSSSHHHing sounds.
TECH 2
Hey that tickles!
TECH 1
Wait, what is that aroma?
TECH 3
And why does it smell so familiar?
JOSH
It’s the air fresheners from the recalled SeatBalts. I recycled them! Resourceful, right? You heard it here first everyone! I added an internal sensor to each little smog sucker that detects stinky smells, pinpoints its location, and then sprays it down with pleasant-smelling scents.
TECH 1
I smell like lavender!
TECH 2
And sandlewood!
TECH 3
Wait, is that pumpkin ennui?
JOSH
All of the above with a slight hint of mint! So, there you have it, people: Proof that Josh Amazing is a caring boss who is totally the opposite of sucky. You’re welcome.
Everyone applauds. METALLIC CREAKING sounds.
FRANKIE (hushed)
Josh?? Can I have a word please?
JOSH
Well well well, look who decided to show up to my launch party. Pretty impressive, right, Frankie? Also how snazzy is my party outfit?
FRANKIE Come with me. NOW.
CREAKING as Frankie pulls Josh away.
INT. FRANKIE’S POD - MOMENTS LATER
Josh and Frankie enter her pod. They SLAM the door.
JOSH
What’s going on? Don’t you want to hang out at the party? Or at least grab some cocktail weenies?
FRANKIE
Forget the weenies, Josh! Put on your lab coat.
JOSH
Oh god, is it because my party outfit is bad?
FRANKIE
You just launched hundreds of autonomous robots that spew artificial scents into our atmosphere.
JOSH
Exactly! What’s the problem?
FRANKIE
Bees use smells to know where to travel. Birds use it to know when to migrate. Thanks to your little vanity add, you just compromised our entire ecosystem!
JOSH
... and that’s bad, right?
FRANKIE
Yes Josh. That’s bad. I never should have left you to go to the doctor. You clearly need my help literally a hundred percent of the time.
JOSH (upset)
Honestly, most of the time when you were gone, I was doing great, which really makes all of this so much more tragic! I’m just always under constant pressure to be perfect!
FRANKIE
Oh no, you are not forcing me to attend a launch party and a pity party.
JOSH
Fine! I guess, if I’m being really honest with myself, I just got a little sidetracked. That’s why I need you here to sit in the corner, watching your documentaries, and yelling at me to do all the… things.
FRANKIE
I can’t say it isn’t nice to be needed, but... I’m not sure long I’ll be around to help.
JOSH
What are you talking about? how you.
FRANKIE
Well, I was thinking, what if we hired you an assistant?
JOSH
Why? Dad never had an assistant. He never asked for help.
FRANKIE
But maybe he should have.
JOSH
Fine. I’ll hire a stupid assistant.
FRANKIE
Please, for the love of god, hire a smart one.
JOSH
Fine! (beat) Say, the techs gave me cigarettes. Wanna split one?
FRANKIE
We’re indoors.
JOSH
I held onto a couple of Smog Suckers, they’ll clean it right up.
FRANKIE
You know what, yeah. It’s been a day.
A LIGHTER FLICKS. The smog suckers BUZZ.
FRANKIE
Wow, these things really do suck.
JOSH
Aww, thanks, Sis.
FRANKIE
Ok, sibling moment over. You just launched 400 demonic Glade Plug-ins and the ecosystem isn't gonna fix itself.
JOSH
Right. Let’s get to work!
“ALOUETTE” plays as they work. The Smog Suckers BUZZ.
EXT. TEDDY’S BACKYARD POOL - CONTINUOUS
Calming LOUNGE MUSIC plus SPLASHING NOISES. Phone BUZZING.
TEDDY
What is it? It’s Teddy’s pool time and I dislike being disturbed.
DR. BECKY
Hello Teddy.
TEDDY
Doctor Becky! To what do I owe this honor?
DR. BECKY
I can’t tell you my source, because-
TEDDY
Discretion, of course.
DR. BECKY
I just got my hands on something that’ll smooth out those eye wrinkles of yours like butter.
TEDDY (intrigued)
Oooh pencil me in for an appointment! Teddy wants the good stuff.
This sends both of them into giggles.
DR. BECKY
Oh Teddy!
TEDDY
Oh Dr. Becky!
DR. BECKY
TEddy!
TEDDY
Becky!
DR. BECKY
El Teddy!
TEDDY
La Becky!
DR. BECKY
Teddy, my darling, I’m about to change your life.
END OF EPISODE